My Fight

Though I was always a school topper and excellent in academics and extra- academics, I couldn’t get a good job. I couldn’t make a career till now. Worse - my relationship with my in-laws became sour over unintentional matters. I remain depressed and unhappy. I felt insecure and unsettled. There were few moments of happiness in my life.

There was nobody to guide me properly. I wish there was somebody who could’ve shown me the right path- in higher studies, in career……..I thought marrying an unknown person will be difficult or rather impossible. Then I married a person whom I knew. But his mother’s insecurity or ego or whatever complex/ problem that was, ruined our happiness and camaradie and changed our relationship altogether. All these instances left a scar on my psyche.

My mother in law made some accusations which was beyond my imagination. Not even my husband would believe what I had to tell. I couldn’t prove the truth. I lost interest in myself, I lost confidence, I became a wreck. My self esteem nose dived. I couldn’t take it anymore, I started loosing my patience. I started feeling guilty about the marriage, my actions…. I even contemplated suicide.

I badly wanted to seek a psychiatric help, but my husband opposed it. There was nobody to whom I could confide in other than my parents. Since I didn’t want them to worry about me beyond a limit, I restrained myself from telling everything. I could only pray and seek God’s help. I practiced meditation at home. Slowly, with my husband’s help, started believing in myself. He counseled me and supported me. I started taking interest in hobbies. And I think it is working. My life is on its path to changing. I am gaining confidence. The situations around me are still gloom. But I’m trying to view it differently.

When you want something to happen strongly, the universal forces will see that it happens. Perhaps, that is what we call The Almighty, The God. Today, I’m successfully fighting depression after 4 years. My husband is right in saying, there is solution to all the problems, and if you feel something cannot be resolved, just leave it to time ….We are not the only one to experience it like this…..there are others whose experiences are much worser than you. You have to find the solution to your problem. You alone can fight depression out of your mind.